النهاية

“I’m snowed in in Amman of all places.” Snow. I never thought my semester in Jordan would end in a terrible blizzard. I have now been sitting at the airport in Amman for nearly ten and a half hours, with only six and half more to go! As a result of the nasty weather conditions roads have been closed to and from the airport and throughout Amman. Therefore, the students in my program decided to play it ridiculously safe and camp out in a Starbucks tonight. A thirteen hour non-stop flight to Chicago awaits me followed by a four hour layover and then a quick jaunt back to Minneapolis. So in approximately twenty six hours I will be reunited with my family.

I have epically failed at blogging this semester. It has been extremely difficult for me to reflect on my experiences and to explain and write about them as they happened. I still can’t really put my finger on Jordan as a country, Jordanians as a people, or my feelings towards any of the above. This semester has been anything but easy and I’ve struggled a lot to stay afloat here. As I prepare to go home, I feel extremely strange. I’ve been surrounded by the same 15 people for the last three and although I may not have fallen in love with the country of Jordan, I depended on the relationships I formed to get me through and to make things easier. To leave them now feels sad and strange and confusing. As excited as I am to be going home, I didn’t realize until today how important and pivotal this semester and the people I met have been.

I plan to retroactively do some blogging. In the second half of the semester I took a trip to Jerusalem and Palestine, went on a program excursion to more sights in Jordan, celebrated Thanksgiving with turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and gravy at a professor’s house, went to the engagement party of my language partner’s sister, and learned way more Arabic than I ever anticipated. While I hope to post about all of these things in the next few weeks (with pictures!), I hope even more to be able to share my experiences with anyone who takes the time to read this blog in person.

Over the course of this semester here are a few things I have learned/ accomplished:

-Made friends with someone from Syracuse. Apparently not all of the students there are absolutely horrible, godless heathens who make up the scum of the earth. In fact, my closest friend from this whole experience went to Syracuse. Truly a Christmas miracle.

-Don’t put a kitten on the roof of your apartment building.

-Arabic isn’t impossible! This semester I have gone from an Intermediate Low speaker of Arabic to an Advanced Low speaker of Arabic. I also wrote a five page research paper in Arabic, gave a fifteen minute presentation, and made it through a conversation about the economic climate of Jordan/the Middle East, the impact of refugees on the economy, and the effectiveness of international development programs in the region.

-Found out I make incredibly awesome chocolate chip cookies.

-Sometimes you don’t have water, sometimes you don’t have electricity, sometimes the heat doesn’t work during an epic snowstorm and you can’t sleep because you’re so cold even in your warmest clothes under four heavy blankets. Throughout those times there are people living in tents in refugee camps right down the street from you. So much has been given to us and so much can be taken away.

-The Arab-Israeli conflict is complicated, to say the least.

-The Middle East runs on its own time system where everything works on inshallah (hopefully) time.

-Sexual harassment is unavoidable in the city of Irbid. It is something that so many women throughout the world experience daily ranging from the simple irritating comments to horrendous sexual crimes. It makes you feel less human, more object.

-We could all use a little more feminism.

-I’ve learned how to cook Jordanian dishes through class and I look forward to making a mansaf for my family to enjoy with their hands.

-Daily life becomes so routine, no matter where you live.

-Kanafeh is the most delicious substance on earth.

-Arabs love conspiracies.

-People are an experience. Interaction is the experience. Surrounding yourself with good people who love you and support you will get you everywhere.

Again, I intend to blog about food, experiences, trips, friends, and everything in between over the Christmas break. I also intend to post all my pictures to Facebook in the coming weeks. Please ask, inquire, probe, interrogate, demand from me information from my experience. I owe it to you.

The 50 Yard Line

I'm not sure why I'm using an American Football reference for this post, but it somehow seemed to fit the occasion. Today marked the final day of my week long mid-term break and tomorrow we jump right back into classes until the end of the semester. I'm currently recovering from a pretty nasty cold that just wants to plague me a while longer (in sha'allah- hopefully). Although this put a slight damper on my week, I still had a lovely trip to the Red Sea and a relaxing recovery alone in my apartment.

While other students in my program took off for Tel-Aviv, Istanbul, and even New York City, I shared a lovely evening with another student, our RA, and our academic director, giving the latter tips on what brands of lotions and creams and other good smelling things she should buy on her upcoming trip to the US. We feasted on kanafeh (a delicious Middle Eastern dessert) and watched The Princess Bride (but don't tell anyone since English is forbidden!).

The following day I headed off to the city of Aqaba, in the south of Jordan, for an adventure to the Red Sea with the other three students who had stayed in the country. There isn't a whole lot to say about Aqaba-- the city is gorgeous, the seafood is excellent, and no one on the street cat called us even once. We spent a few days relaxing on the beach, just enjoying our break in a traditional Jordanian fashion. We also had the opportunity to snorkel the reefs in the Red Sea which are absolutely sublime. It's like another world under the sea with coral that has been transplanted from Saudi Arabia and biodiversity beyond belief (including eels and sea snakes which aren't exactly a few of my favorite things). Our hostel was beautiful and we met some fantastic Brits while sharing experiences on the terrace overlooking the sea. Fun Fact: Looking across the sea you can see both Israel and Egypt and glancing a little ways down the coast lies Saudi Arabia.

View from the hostel

Aqaba Fort

Sunset Swim

After my days on the beach, I was entirely ready for the days in my bed, recovering from illness and catching up on my American television. It was a much needed break after hectic midterm exams and I feel prepared to begin again tomorrow with classes from 10AM-6PM without much break. Ayyayaya. I can't believe I have less than two months left here and I am confident that many more exciting experiences lie in store!

Meandering Through Jordan

A little over a week ago I returned from an absolutely incredible trip to some of the major sights in Jordan. All thirteen students in my program, plus our academic director, resident director, RA, and some roommates and language partners set off on the Yarmouk University bus on a three-day excursion.

Our first stop was The Dead Sea, the lowest point on earth at 400m below sea level. With an almost 40% salt content (the world's oceans have a salt content somewhere around 3.5%) one cannot really swim in the Dead Sea but rather float without effort on top of the water's surface. As I first entered the water I didn't think much of it, it didn't feel particularly different, there was nothing special about it. Once I reached the point where I could no longer touch the sand below I felt my body instantly float up. I must say, it was an absolutely bizarre experience. In my attempt to orient my body to comfortably float on my back I splashed some water in my face and could feel the sharp stinging in my eyes to the point that I had to get out of the water and flush them with fresh water. To add to that, the taste lingered in my mouth for the longest time. We had mud fights and covered our bodies with mud from head to toe partly because the mud helps to nourish skin and partly because we are all children inside. Sadly the life of this world wonder is limited and the Dead Sea could disappear completely in 50-100 years. I'd say hurry up and get there fast!

Our second stop was Karak Castle, originally built by the Crusaders and later captured by Saladin's Muslim forces. I don't know a whole lot about the history of the castle beyond this, but I could really only describe as a giant playground for big kids. We decided it would make for one amazing game of hide and seek. The whole castle complex is fair game for climbing and the many underground tunnels stretch for a long time. There are so many nooks and crannies to explore and many hidden gems await anyone who looks for them. Sadly we only were able to spend a little over an hour here and I wish I had more time to adventure in the castle.

Next our journey took us to the famed city of Petra. Petra, wow. I don't even know where to begin. Which is sad since I probably only saw about 10% of Petra. It's incredible to think that some of the villages in and around Petra were carved into the hillside as early as 7000 BC, although Petra itself had its heyday around 10BC and then after suffering some earthquakes it fell into obscurity for nearly a thousand years. I hope that I will have the opportunity to return to the ancient city in the next two months because there is so much more I want to see. The main attraction is the Treasury, an elaborately carved facade that welcomes visitors into a new world. This is only the first thing you see though! I decided to take my day and climb to the High Place of Sacrifice, followed by a slow descent past the Lion Fountain and the Garden Tombs, ending my day at the Royal Tombs and the Theatre. It wasn't until after we had packed up the bus and headed on our way that I realized I hadn't even seen Petra City Center. This place is just a plethora of wonders and again, I just hope that I am fortunate enough to return and maybe make the 1,000 stair climb to The End of the World.

Our final destination on this trip was Wadi Rum, an expansive desert reserve in the south of Jordan where we spent our night in a Bedouin camp. Upon arriving in the wadi we divided into four different trucks and piled in the flatbed to venture into the sandy landscape of Wadi Rum. Our driver was absolutely insane. We were whipping through the sandy paths at insanely fast speeds and he decides that its a good idea to open the driver's side door and stand outside the truck while he drives. To add to that our resident director decided to do the same on the passenger's side, much to the dismay of our frightened academic director who grasped tightly to my arm as we went over the sandy bumps. Our evening was spent in the camp where there where we were treated to lamb and chicken cooked in the ground, traditional music, and great conversation under the stars. The stars were unbelievable, you could see the Milky Way and everything was so peaceful as we lay in the sand in the middle of the desert, allowing ourselves to become part of Jordan, if only for a moment.

I'm Every Woman

First of all, I must apologize for my blogging hiatus, I think I needed some time to adjust to my life in Jordan and process everything before I could move forward. Finally, a little over three weeks in, I think I am figuring out how to make the most of this experience.

I wish that my return to blogging could be an exciting story about an extremely fun adventure our program took (stay tuned, we're going on a long trip next weekend!). Unfortunately, I think is important to make this post about the experience of being an American woman here in Irbid.

As an American or a westerner in general you stick out like a sore thumb in Jordan for the most part. There will always be stares, there will always be people wanting to talk to you, there will always be people trying to sell you something, there will always be someone who thinks you are German. "Welcome to Jordan" is a phrase I have heard at least twenty times a day. It seems harmless enough, and I'm sure in general it is simply a pleasant greeting. However, if there is even a single male from our program out with the ladies, the frequency of this greeting plummets. I've had to train myself not to respond, not to turn my head, and to ignore completely just about everyone who tries to talk to me on the street. For a girl from the Midwest who smiles at people on the streets, holds doors for everyone, and uses "please" and "thank you" to the point of excess, I feel rude pretending not to hear or understand when someone tries to talk to me. 

As a woman I am restricted in my lifestyle. I never venture outside the university gates by myself, and if no one else is in the mood to go out to the grocery store this means sucking it up and eating some pita and hummus for a few meals. Many cafes are male-only, and therefore are off limits to me. In those that I am allowed there is often a second floor for women and mixed gender groups while the first floor is reserved for men only. I take care to cover my arms and legs completely before I leave the gates, although I'm beginning to doubt this makes much of a difference.

Harassment is rampant and undeniable. Yes, harassment happens back home and everywhere else in the world. Here I feel targeted every time I step outside my door. The honking, the cat calls, the pick-up lines delivered in broken English...every time I feel a little more frustrated and a little more outraged. "You have sexy" "I want to fuck you" "Your boobs are beautiful" Would it be so much to ask to go through a day without these phrases? Verbal harassment has been wearing me down, but it is the physical harassment that I've struggled with the most. Having my personal space violated in such a fashion is just the most uncomfortable experience. One day as a friend and I were walking to the bus stop a man ran us down and felt entitled to grab us. It was after this experience that I learned to hit anyone who tries to touch me. Although I'm sure I was taller than this man, I felt small, weak, and absolutely terrified.Yesterday while riding in a taxi from central Amman to the bus stop, I had a driver who asked me if I would take him back to the US with me for a large sum of money. Instead of shutting up after I said no way in hell, he continued on talking about how he wanted to have sex and marry me. On top of that, I knew from my few experiences in Amman that it should take about ten minutes from where I was to the bus stop, but the driver decided to take a route that doubled the time. Once again I felt so helpless not knowing where we were going, and if it was indeed the bus stop. Upon arriving at the bus stop he overcharged me, told me to be careful riding the bus (what a joke), and then parked his car and hung around outside the ticket office until my traveling companions arrived and told him to leave. 

All these experience have shaped my time here and I hope the past three weeks are not highly indicative of the next twelve weeks. Every experience pushes me to modify my behavior and teaches me something about how to avoid a similar situation in the future. Each time I think my skin gets a little bit tougher, but in the moment my mind is almost stunned into forgetting that I am not powerless. 

A Trip To Amman

"We should go to Amman tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" I asked, the concern evident in my voice. 

I'm assuming if you're reading this blog you probably know me at least somewhat and you know that I like to be prepared and organized (and maybe get a discount too!) before I head off on an adventure. I would venture to say going to Amman this past weekend was the most adventurous thing I've ever done in my life. 

My friend Amanda and I headed to the bus stop after our class on Thursday and hopped a small bus for the 1.5 hour trip to Amman. When we got there our first task was to find somewhere to spend the night, and after a cab ride where the driver asked us if we were married, if we had boyfriends at home and other questions of the like, we found ourselves in the city center of Amman near the Roman Theater, supposedly near the hostel we planned to stay in. After about two hours of asking person after person which street to take, walking up hill after hill, and getting lost multiple times, we found a small door in the middle of a crazy, narrow shop-lined alley that read "Cliff Hotel" and we took up our residence for the night. This was my first hosteling experience, and considering a bed is a bed, 5 JD for the night was a pretty nice bargain. 

After dropping off some baggage, we realized dinner time had come and gone long ago. Luckily here in Jordan on the weekend dinner starts at about 9 PM so we were right on time to find a great rooftop cafe with live music and shisha and large tables of Jordanians dancing to the music and having a grand time. After some pizza and drinks, we decided to call it a night and went back to our little cots in the hostel. 

The next morning we got up early and began a trek up to the Citadel, where there are ruins left from so many different groups have controlled the area at one time or another. Our tour guide was wonderful and helped us with our Arabic, showed us the best picture spots, and picked us some fresh figs from one of the two trees growing among the ruins. He also offered to connect us with a friend he has here in Irbid who is married to an American woman and lives very close to the university, so hopefully that will work out in the future!

After our tourist adventure we met up with friends from our respective universities and had a lovely afternoon wandering around Rainbow St. enjoying treats and visiting the market and speaking English (shhhhhhh!). 

All around it was an exciting experience and much different from the experience in the sometimes sleepy town of Irbid! Here are some photos from the weekend:

The Hostel

The Cafe Was Hoppin'

Roman Theatre

A View of Amman

Roman Theater from the Citadel

This Cat's Ancestors Lived Here Too

Doorway out of Umayyad Palace

Umayyad Palace

Grabbing the Tallest Flag in the World with the Only Remaining Umayyad Lion

FIGS!

The Temple of Hercules

Amniyya Bootcamp

On Sunday, all the students in the program took a language pledge. From now until December 15th (not that I'm counting the days or anything like that) we are to speak only in Arabic in class, on the streets, with one another, and with anyone we encounter in any situation. Oftentimes the Jordanians will speak to us in English and beg us to talk with them in English, but we try to explain that in our program English is forbidden. As for me, I am definitely riding the struggle bus. My Arabic is definitely awful right now and while it will undoubtedly improve leaps and bounds in the next few months, I find myself getting very frustrated and flustered to the point that I don't really talk to anyone. For the first week of classes we only have one class for four hours each day-- Jordanian Arabic. For anyone who is less familiar with the mechanics of the language, Arabic dialects differ significantly from region to region. For example, you have Moroccan Arabic, Gulf Arabic, Egyptian Arabic, Iraqi Arabic, and Levantine Arabic spoken in Jordan, Syria, and Lebanon. Even within Levantine there are differences and therefore we are studying the dialect most widely spoken here in Irbid this week. The classes are fondly known to the students as "Amniyya (dialect) Bootcamp".

On a more exciting note, we also got a tour of downtown Irbid, a giant market filled with food and clothes and toys and all sorts of wonderful surprises. 

I'm likely entering the culture shock phase of this trip although I'm starting to realize that life in Irbid is not all that much different that life at Macalester, except it is hot and sunny EVERY DAY. I know I need to stay positive about Arabic but oftentimes that is easier said than done.

مع السلامة

Welcome to My New Home

I arrived in Irbid yesterday after a long day of travel. My itinerary took me from Minneapolis to Chicago to Vienna and finally on to Amman. Luckily I met up with a fellow Macalester student, Irene, who is also on my program in Chicago and we were able to navigate the rest of our journey together. Our flight in Vienna was delayed three hours for technical difficulties and on our quest to find a phone to call and CET (the program we are studying with) we had the privilege of going through airport security at least five times. Upon arriving in Amman, we received the lovely news that our carry-on bags (which we were told had to be checked back in Chicago) had decided to take up residence in Vienna. Luckily we've been assured that they should arrive either today or tomorrow. Also, we were thankfully aided by a local Jordanian man who had also traveled from Chicago and who talked to baggage services on our behalf. Even more thankfully, our ride had waited the extra four hours it took to get through the delayed flight and the missing baggage fiasco so we didn't have to pay for the two hour cab ride from Amman to Irbid.

After arriving in Irbid I got keys to my little apartment, currently I am the only inhabitant but soon enough I will be joined by a Jordanian roommate.Here are some pictures of my living space, fairly cozy, but definitely liveable.

Sadly my side of the building doesn't get the beautiful, cool evening breeze like the other side does, but it at least has ceiling fans to correct for this.

Well, I'm off to find ice cream with a fellow exchange student and speak all the 'Murican I can before our Arabic-only language pledge kicks in on Sunday!